The Purple Tux
With just enough education to perform.Wednesday, January 11, 2006
So this is the new year. And I don't feel any different.
This post is just to prove that I am still alive. Or perhaps to show that some false pretender has gained access to Dru's blog. I guess I still have some stock music review entries piled up in my hard drive, but I'm too lazy to even copy and paste. Plus, it doesn't look like anyone cares. Even more important, it's been so long since I actually wrote them that I don't think I care myself. I probably should have just posted stuff as I wrote it.
Time may heal all wounds, but hindsight sure does make you look at your ass. If you know what I mean.
Things I used to be proud of even six months ago, I am now ashamed to think of. It's been over a year since I wrote my first short story of decent length. I remember the birthing pains as I wrote it; I was so proud when I finished it and I thought it was the best thing I had written. Now, I don't even want to think about it. It's just embarrassing to me now. It's hard to figure why I wrote what I wrote in the first installment of Harrier Investigations; I chalk it up to getting all the stupid crap off my chest, to make room for all the good stuff I know I have lurking within.
Strange, I've had this blog for almost five years now and I don't even have 300 posts. Most of the time, I don't know what to write. (Not a real good sign for a guy whose dream job is to BE a writer.) It's just, I've always prided myself for being different from everyone else. When I first got a blog, I thought it was pretty cool, even if I wasted some of my earliest posts on my obsession with Marvel Vs. Capcom 2. Then a year or two later, it seemed every kid had a xanga. Hardly any of them wrote about Street Fighter. Hardly any of them wrote things that I thought were worth reading.
And yet, with xanga, there's always rubbish like leaving comments and eProps. Only a liar would claim he never browsed random xangas by continually following xanga links. So if I'm being honest here, and I am, I've read a good share of random xangas. What kills me is that so many kids write things that are so inane, and yet they get a ton of comments and eProps. Maybe it's just that most of the people who have a xanga are basically college students who never outgrew their high school cliques.
It just bugs me because the things I write are much better than most people who average 30 eProps a post, and I almost never get any comments. That isn’t pride speaking, by the way; it’s simply cold fact. Take any of those little funny stories I wrote over the past year. Each of them kicks the ass of the average xanga post of “this is what I did today… with pictures!” Nobody really gives a damn if you got a B on your history essay; but it would have been a much better post if you’d made me laugh when you told me about it. Where’s the attempt at creativity?
The worst is people who update their xanga everyday, but never have anything interesting to say. It’s always a recap of how their day went, or how much they miss their boyfriend or girlfriend, or what DVDs they want for their birthday. It is all a tale, told by an idiot, sound and fury, signifying nothing. Holy mother of- did I just try to quote Shakespeare? Somebody shoot me now, please.
I guess what I’m trying to get at is that I like to read and I know how to appreciate people who put some effort into their online diaries. I also like to write, but I probably don’t need to waste my time with a blog that nobody reads. However, nobody keeps a journal- physical or online- without actually wanting others to read their thoughts.
Seriously. I am convinced that even those who write in diaries- the kinds with a front cover and a back cover, and many pages in between (the leatherbounding is optional)- want people to read them.
What’s the point of writing if no one is going to read? Sure, it could be a cathartic experience and everything, but if no one else is going to read it, you’d stop. With an online diary, it’s even more extreme. Everyone wants heavy traffic to their blog, or livejournal, or xanga. And the comments and eProps to go with them. You may have noticed you’ll find none of the latter here, and precious few of the former. I post so irregularly that I have no doubt I’ve lost the interest of those who used to read this. Kinda like how I lose interest after a comic book ships super late.
This post may have seemed kinda arrogant, or perhaps even angsty or hypocritical- I realize that’s the nature of commenting on blogs via a blog. Some parts of what I just wrote are even harsh or a big offensive. The reason for that is because I doubt anyone will read this, so I didn’t really care who I pissed off. Maybe instead of pissing you off, I’ve made you laugh at my childish observations. “He can state the obvious and act like big baby!” Well, I hope you’re laughing, then.
I want someone to read this, yeah. And if you are reading this, thanks, I appreciate it. But even if no one else reads this, I’m still gonna post on this blog whenever I feel like it (ie, my posts will continue to be irregular). I write because I want to, not because I have to.
